back again

first of all, sorry ive not done this in a while, mainly due to things im thinking about at the moment, and quite simply a heck of alot of ict work :P (if you take it, you'll know what i mean), i just want to begin with some lyrics. I know its not the most original thing, but they seemed quite appropriate:

Let me hold you, for the last time,

its the last chance to feel again.

but you broke me,

now i cant feel anything.

Anyway..
to be honest this week hasnt been the best, but before i drone on about all that etc, im gunna highlight the good points..

FINISHING all my ict :D, thankgod its over, just got the other two lessons to worry about now :P

Working on sunday. this may not seem like a good thing as i was absoloutely knackered, but g came down with her mum and it was nice to see her :) we really need to catchup properly at some point

The pubquiz. this was good and bad tbh, the good being that it was a great laugh and i could unwind, however the bad being that two of my friends are having problems with another two. This meant that there was a divide in the tables when we got there and it felt awkward being in the middle of it. This has to stop, i mean we're going on holiday together for crying out loud!

It also wasnt the best quiz as it was the first time i saw them "together". Id normally be happy for them, i want to be happy for them soo much, but because of the way i feel about her...i dont know.. I messed up things with her, and i dont think i'll be able to forgive myself for what i did. Im the reason that im like this, and have felt like this since it happened. I finally thought that i'd found someone that i could care for, be their angel, but as always i messed things up..

If she's reading this, i truly am sorry for what i did, it wasnt my place and ive not stopped thinking about since...we've tried to move past it, but there is no excuse for an abuse of a friends trust..and it's cost me everything i wanted

x