Dead Memories..

I've been listening to that song quite a bit lately and thinking about quite a few things...

• Why did i lose her again?
• Why?
• WHY?!
• and you may have guessed..WHY?!?!

"Sitting in the dark, i cant forget

Even now i realize the time i'll never get

Another story of the bitter pills of fate

I can't go back again, I can't go back again"

The more i listen to these the more i think about the current situation. No talking, no contact...no hope...

She's with someone else now, and i just want to say, there isnt anyone out there that will look after her and care for her as much as this person. She doesn't seem to be in the best of all places at the moment, and if theres someone that can pull her out of it, its C.

The past few monthes have not been the best for me, along with other things like school coming to an end, so have some of my friendships. It's funny, looking back it seemed like everyone would be friends forever, never growing up, never thinking about university, or jobs, or even exams. That life would just be perfect, forever and ever. But life isn't perfect, you do things you regret, say things you dont mean, and can never be forgiven for them.

A little while back i was at one of my bestfriends house with another best friend when she got a phone call. It was from c saying how they'd kissed for the first time. It was at the point where something broke in me..

i realized that although i want the world to be perfect, for friends to be here, together forever, it's not going to happen...and theres nothing i can do to change it :(

xx